Monday, April 2, 2012

Clouds, Waves & Seashells

It hurts. Always. That's the only way to really describe the pain of child loss. Nothing ever feels totally right again. Nothing ever feels totally complete again. It always feels like something is missing. Child loss hurts. Always. 
~(Silent Grief -Child Loss Support)   

The above words are so true for me. He will always be missed by me. The Family went to the Beach yesterday. My Liam & the nephews love the sands & the sun..:) I love watching them play, I can't help but wonder what if?    what if Miguel lived and he's with us. I'm pretty sure the kids would love to carry him at the beach, he would have been 7 months old, giggling, screaming and always laughing. 
The wondering hurts like hell, but made me smile too. I know we'll all have a blast with Him enjoying the water.
I will always remember Miguel and what could have been if our lives were only different. I collected Seashells that day, I needed them to decorate Miguel's grave. I remember when I was pregnant with him, he would kick my tummy when I'm at the beach getting Seashells. I love having them. And Yes He loves seeing waves too. :)

He also loves Clouds. And the Cloud formation yesterday was amazing. It was so beautiful, i will never get tired watching them. They made me think of Miguel playing in Heaven's Cloud. But this Mommy still wish Miguel is within my reach, that I can hold him, hug him and kiss him. I wished and wish that i can carry him while watching the beautiful Sky. It will always be painful for me. There will always be sadness in everything the family would do because I know my Baby Boy will never be there with us.
I love you so much William Miguel. Always.

No comments:

Post a Comment